Waking up

Going to sleep and waking up- those seem to two of the hardest things to do lately. I am tired at night but fight sleep, as I know it will, inevitably lead to waking up another day. I don't mean in the sense that I don't want to wake up, but in the sense that another day has passed without him and another morning where the harsh reality of what happened washes over me. But wake up I must and I do. Mornings seem to be the hardest times right now, as the quiet of the morning without a crying or cooing newborn echoes loudly in my head and my heart. Thankfully, once my active two year old is awake, my mind is busied by his antics and requests, his snuggles and his kisses.

Today had its ups and downs. I will be glad that my other son will be coming home from his soccer tournament and I will have both my boys with me. I worry though, because my sadness is harder to hide from a teenager.

My boys on Mother's day:)